Red Right Hand: THERE IS NO LIFE ON MARS

20080821

 

THERE IS NO LIFE ON MARS

Not, however referring to Life On Mars (U.S.), which is looking up, looking at these.

No, I refer to this Veronica Mars related thingy...
"Kristen and I ran into each other, and we did discuss a Veronica movie," - Rob Thomas
Wow. Wouldn't that just be the awesome sauce?

I think not. Let's take a closer look, eh?

It sounds cool, but I think it can't live up to anybody's expectations. I mean, c'mon...everything after the first season didn't even live up to everybody's expectations.

But with less snark, I say let dead things stay dead. A VM movie could only serve to be really disappointing or really aggravating...and I mean aggravating in the same way that season-four-that-could-have-been feature on the DVD's was aggravating.

First of all, we'll be coming at a Veronica who's been away from us for years. We'll have built her up in our heads to be this something awesome, like the youngest and most successful FBI agent ever, but she's getting older and so are we. And what if Rob decided she wasn't going to be an FBI agent after all? Well, we all had our hopes up. Rob might be in a different headspace now. We might be too. Nothing will ever be the same again. You can't get that first season back.

And let's not forget that a feature is a whole different format than our young lady was devised to exist in. We won't get the slow peeling of a mystery onion over the course of a season, or an extended arc. The whole tension dynamic will be different...and if it isn't different and is more like the series, then all we got was one more extended episode. Which seems like a let down doesn't.

But let's say it all falls together and blows us away. It's just going to piss us off that that's all we get. Maybe there would be another movie, but now we're waiting a year or two between episodes.

But we're not getting a sequel. We're not getting a movie. Not for a show that generally fell in the bottom 10% of network shows for the years that it was on. Those are lists that generally ran past one-hundred-fifty shows. And some of the ones ahead of Vera there were really bad and really cancelled. What studio is going to put money behind that property.

Maybe the DVD sets sold well, I don't have the figures on that nor do I intend to do the google-fu to get it, but my experience says that a lot of those people who bought the sets, did so because they weren't watching the show. There's a bit of a Firefly effect there. Those who watched converted those who didn't. The people who couldn't find the time to watch one of the best two or three shows on at that time. They're probably not going to find the time to go buy the movie ticket. They'll be waiting for the DVD. There's a chunk of projected earnings not being projected. And the studio that might consider putting money there knows that and will budget accordingly.

And sorry, but Vera doesn't have the same pull as Mal.

...and there's still tons who can't see past the perceived teen chick genre.

Fact is, this movie's not happening. You know that VM comic that DC was talking to RT about? See it anywhere? Me neither. Rob's busy.

Maybe he'll go back to Veronica Mars in ten or fifteen years and start over. You know, like with Cupid?

He could cast the girl that plays Astor on Dexter. She'd be old enough by then.

And who'd play the new Keith? Hmm?

Let dead things stay dead.

Sometimes.

5 Comments:

Blogger Emily Blake said...

I was about to tell you about my friend whose boyfriend is trying to get her to watch Veronica Mars but she thinks it's a silly teen show and then I was like - OH. Oh yeah.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Blogette said...

(Aw... Adorable Kristen Bell VM promo pic...)

I was actually expecting bad news about Life on Mars US (although things seem to be on the up and up - yes, I just wrote up and up - now) when I saw this post title. A Veronica Mars post is a pleasant surprise.

They say "what's dead should stay dead." I then say, "okay...unless it was an amazing, yet low rated show that should've gotten more recognition from the masses." But in all seriousness, I totally agree with you - a VM movie doesn't need to happen (and probably won't). Serenity was great, and I'm all for an Arrested Development movie, but VM doesn't need to be on the big screen.

9:43 AM  
Blogger Avitable said...

I think you're wrong about that, though. Kristen Bell has much more pull as the girl from Heroes and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, along with the other films she has coming out. Putting her in a Veronica Mars movie would appeal to a crowd far beyond the VM audience.

And I'd enjoy whatever vision RT has.

9:45 AM  
Blogger Lex said...

Me want some Arrested Development movie!

9:47 AM  
Blogger adam _______________________ said...

I have to agree. But simply on the grounds that VM never lived up to its first season anyway. Granted, they got a whole lot of shit thrown in their way in those last two seasons -- I'm not heaping blame on RT's shoulders. I'm just saying the show was a television freak-of-nature. How many shows peak in Season 1? Seriously.

I'm a huge fucking VM fan -- but I've never gotten over season 2, and I watched season 3 out of pure fanboy-ism and masochistic tendencies.

No movie there. Bad bad idea. I loved Serenity, but I'm sure people were watching on the gamble-on-DVD-sales front.

TV fans are a fickle, lazy bunch. They'll send ridiculous quantities of nuts to CBS, but they won't go the theater to pay $15 for another taste of something they spent upwards of 70 bucks on to watch from the couch.

8:41 AM  

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